Youth Soccer and Commitment

I coach two boys teams at my club - 1999 Boys and 2003 Boys. This is my second year with both age groups. Throughout my time with these teams, I have been plagued by something that seems to occur much more frequently than it really should - players missing training or games for other activities.

These other activities include but are not limited to:

• Other sports, like basketball or baseball

• Music lessons, such as piano, guitar, or being part of an orchestra

• Unexpected family trips (by unexpected, I mean that I am given very late notice)

• School assignments, such as long term projects due the next day

• A Milwaukee Bucks basketball game

• Going out to dinner

• Family friend is visiting

• Skiing or snowboarding

• And probably some others that I have permanently blocked from my memory

Maybe with the exception of the school assignment, I struggle to understand why it is continually "ok" for parents to keep their kids home from training or games. 

In fact, I believe that having homework isn't a good excuse. I have always been on-board with the idea that school comes first, but when you allow your kid to miss a training session to complete a long term project that is due the following day, I feel that it is just a lesson in poor time management. 

This did happen to me a few weeks ago. In that specific scenario, I had another kid on the same team who attends the same school with the same assignment looming over him who was actually present fort training. It seems that Kid A spent all weekend playing video games and procrastinating while Kid B was completing the project so he could attend training!

In a separate incident, I asked another player, who had a lot of homework as well and struggles with his first touch and ball control, what he spent his free time doing at home. His answer was "playing on his iTouch". His estimate of time spent doing this activity was one hour every day. I asked him if he thought he would become a better player by playing video games instead of doing homework, but he didn't seem to understand how the three activities were connected.

Here is my question:

Has the word "commitment" changed in definition? When I was a kid, I wouldn't even think of missing a practice or game unless I was almost dying from being sick. Homework was expected to be completed in addition to my athletic commitments. Video games were only allowed after the other two activities were completed for the day. If I complained about not having enough time to do what I wanted to do, my mom would always say that "I had made a commitment, and I needed to see it through." Only once I was done with the season, or duration of the activity, could I consider another activity if there was a conflict.

Yes, I understand that most extra-curricular activities, especially athletic activities, now require so much more of a time commitment than they used to, especially when the athlete or parents have certain athletic goals in mind. Soccer alone requires almost year-round play at a high level to even think about potentially playing in college. 

But at our club, the schedule is literally spelled out for players and parents prior to when they join the team. If you cannot commit fully, don't commit! You are doing your child a disservice by trying to stretch them between too many activities.

A coaching colleague of mine put it very aptly on twitter - "Serial dabblers don't get better [at] any of their 8 things." - @zone_14

Because it's all about what you prioritize in life. If you want to be a great video game player, then spend your time playing video games. If you want to become a better soccer player, then you CANNOT miss training or games! Furthermore, the players that quickly develop quality ball control and first touch, tend to spend their spare time with a ball outside of training and games. 

This issue is compounded by the fact that on many occasions, I have parents come to me and complain about the quality of their child's game, or that he isn't having fun, or isn't learning.

Here's where I really have a problem:

I have found that players generally don't have fun BECAUSE they aren't learning! Typically, this means that they aren't showing up to training enough. They clearly doesn't touch a soccer ball more than once a week. So now, the players that don't often show up to training are struggling in an environment where some kids have surpassed their abilities, and others are rapidly catching up. All because that two week trip to Jamaica was more important, or winter is basketball season instead of soccer.

Parenting is clearly not what is used to be. We have developed a culture where things are handed to us, instead of having to work for them. In a sport where it is too often "pay-to-play", the consumers are too used to paying for something they want, instead of fighting for it. Furthermore, many parents are stretching what little spare time their children have too far. As a result, we are seeing too many technically poor and tactically naive youth players.